Tuesday, 2 February 2010

ODD & Autism


Our younger son is adopted. Not only does he have autism but he also has ODD - Oppositional defiant disorder amongst some other issues as well. As such life can be extremely difficult, especially the combination of these together... a very complicated mix. This last weekend was one such example of what can go so horribly wrong and one I hope is never repeated. Although as a result of the events of this weekend, hopefully we are finally going to get the help for him that he needs. I'd like to be able to say more to get it all out of my system, but don't feel it is appropriate on my blog but I wanted to assure my readers that it wasn't a health related issue. True I still haven't got my MRI/MRA results, but I'm taking the specialist's apathy for poor contact on the probability it didn't show anything significant wrong with my arteries in my shoulder. Which is good as it means I don't have to have another operation, but doesn't explain why I am still getting lots of problems!


Not having my Mum & Dad in the same country can be very hard as I/we have no one to turn to apart from my lovely MIL when things get tough.


Anyway a brief (?) synopsis of ODD taken from the internet.



Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a disorder where children have disruptive and oppositional behaviour that is particularly directed towards authority figures, such as parents or teachers.

Children with ODD are constantly defiant, hostile and disobedient. They don’t like responding to instructions or taking orders from others, and they actively refuse simple requests.
Sometimes they eagerly blame others for their own mistakes, can lose their temper easily, and act in an angry, resentful or touchy manner.


All children occasionally react in this way on a bad day or if upset by a situation, and many teenagers go through troublesome times. But children with oppositional defiant disorder are like this all the time, making them very hard to deal with.

Symptoms
The key behavioural symptoms of ODD are negative, hostile and defiant behaviour. For ODD to be diagnosed, symptoms have to have been present for at least six months and involve four or more of the following:
often loses temper
often argues with adults
often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules
often deliberately annoys people
often blames others for his mistakes or misbehaviour
often touchy or easily annoyed by others
often angry and resentful
often spiteful or vindictive.
To be classified as ODD, the behaviour also has to have caused a significant degree of disturbance to home, social or school life.

How does it cause problems?
For parents, having a child with ODD can be very difficult. ODD children can vary from being mildly oppositional to always being hostile.

A child with ODD will:
deliberately take the most difficult path, eg to say ‘no’ on principle
enjoy challenging and arguing with people
refuse to do what he’s told.
It's common for a child with ODD to blame everyone else for his problems, and at his worst he can be angry, spiteful and vindictive.
These types of problem behaviours are typically directed towards parents and teachers, plus others in authority. Coping with a consistently disruptive attitude can be extremely frustrating and physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Based on a text by
Dr Dan Rutherford, GP

It can be so hard when you have so much love to give, but with difficulties such as ASD & ODD to contend with it often seems a continuous battle for want of a better word.



It is not all doom and gloom though - there are some moments in which he is an absolute darling and it is those moments we keep reminding ourselves of.

11 comments:

  1. Oh, Serenata. I looked up ODD when you gave us a link to it a while ago, and how difficult it must be for you. I realise that it's not about your son's love for you, but the daily love and caring must be so much harder. I have loved the posts when you've shown us the good moments with him too - this is the real mark of a loving parent, to delight in the good as well as to soldier on through the bad. Thanks for letting us know just a little bit about what it's like for you and him. God bless you all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Be Strong, thinking of you.

    Vicky x

    ReplyDelete
  3. What can I say, I hope that you manage to get the assistance you need. I am finding it hard dealing with Mini's temper tantrums the last couple of weeks, which is nothing compared to what you must be going through. I wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ohooo sweetheart, sounded like you needed to get that off your chest, I do hope you fel better for it. I know it helps me sometimes. I have to say I have never heard of ODD, I do know of the rainbow of autism, is it on that or not related to autism. Was all this apparent when you adopted him. You sound so full of love, it must be so hard when maybe you don't get it back sometimes, though of course I cannot fully understand what you may be going through.

    Hugs and sending lots of love

    X

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am glad you are ok. It is hard to have these things happen to our children. I was asked in college why I wouldn't consider special education and it is because something deep in me my whole life has thought I could make them "normal". I do now know "normal" isn't always that great or even exists. But I would still want to try. I am glad you can get him help now. That is the WORST! My sister's second son has issues and his teacher this year will NOT help. IT has been very hard for her to get him to all the Drs he needs to see. I hope you get your results soon and you don't have to have any more surgery. I pulled my shoulder last summer and it lasted for over 6 months! So if you have a really bad problem I can see how hard that would be to fix.
    Hugs, Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh ! I had never heard of this and I am sorry I hadn't.

    Sometimes we feel overwhelmed that we are alone with no help. I do so hope you have a network of help ( even by Blogging ! )

    Perhaps you should say more in your blog - sorry but I'm a newcomer so not sure what you've said in the past.

    Love Penny

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry, but maybe, and hopefully in time when you've got the help you need in place, you'll be able to look back and say it was the best thing that could have happened. Your boy must have so much frustration inside him, yet doesn't know the appropriate way to let it out. And I guess it's exacerbated because of all those hormones rushing around as he goes through puberty. He is lucky to have such a caring, supportive family and you are so lucky to have the support of a loving husband and his mother.
    Take care xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've never heard of ODD - it must be exhausting for you and so frustrating when you don't get the right kind of help.

    I've only recently started to follow your Blog so sorry to hear about your shoulder trouble.

    You sound like you need a good break from it all - do you receive any respite care?

    Sorry if I'm repeating - I thought I'd commented last night .

    Thinking of you xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've never heard of ODD, and there's me having a moan about what seems like little problems after reading your post.
    I hope you get the help that is needed.
    You must be exhausted.
    Thank you so much for your kind words it helped me a lot I'd I feel so much better after having a moan.

    Joanne x

    ReplyDelete
  10. Being an indivual with AS (Aspergers Syndrome) and ODD, I can tell you it's not a pleasant run for me either. I can feel when the ODD is kicking in, and I feel as if I'd have an easier time stoping a tidal wave.

    I've tried to prepare the people in my life by making them aware that I have ODD, and that simple suggestions can set me off. The best advice I can offer came from my therapy. Prepare your child for situations before hand. In addition, if you suggest a course of action in a manner that he will take your suggestion as his idea. For example, I went to a party where some told me to take of my coat. I staunchly refused due to the ODD. However later on in the evening, as I was sweating bullets, my girlfriend suggested that if I was hot, I could take my coat off. Despite what the good Dr. Dan Rutherford has stated,

    I can tell you that it's not providing enjoyment to be difficult. We're just wired differently. Those moments of your child being sweet and a darling will get more frequent as you both learn to cope with ODD/AS. Communication therapy with a therapist familiar with AS has been the most beneficial experience in my life. I wish you the best of luck

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Bryan, I do hope you read this as I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to this post. I'd also be interested in learning more from you. Do you have your own blog?

    I am pleased to say that things have certainly improved immeasureably from the time this blog was written. Yes we still have many difficult times but it is undestanding and appreciating the way our son's mind and thinking works that is helping. Plus he is trying hard as well which makes all the difference.

    We/he hasn't been given any therapy, but I will remember what you have said so that if the opportunity arises to have some we can take it up.

    Anyway thank you again for taking the time to comment on this blog post.

    ReplyDelete